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Treatment of Anger

Allamah Aloosi (RA) quotes a hadith in Ruhul Ma’ani: “Save you from anger, because it is a flame of fire which burns the heart of the son of Adam.” Rasulullah Sallallahu alaihi wasallam has explained through two proofs that the matter and substance of anger is made from fire. One is: “Do you not see that the veins of the angry one’s throat swell up’ and the other is that the eyes get red. The eyes show that there is a fire in the heart. The eyes are like glasses through which one can see the fire inside the heart. So anger is definitely fire. In anger, people do such actions which cannot be practiced otherwise. People have even sworn at Allah and the shariat in anger, and became kafirs! May Allah save us.

In anger, one fights one’s parents, is harsh to one’s wife and oppresses her, causing her deep sighs and lamentations. In anger, the wife becomes insolent towards the husband, a son fights with his father, a student fights with his teacher, a disciple fights with his spiritual guide, an ummati fights with a Nabi and the bondsman fights with Allah! Through this dangerous illness, one is deprived of his venerable elders’ kindness. One who respects his elders will be rewarded by their kindness. May Allah bless us with taufiq to fully submit to our elders, and to tolerate whatever they tell us? I too request you for duas.

There are many incidents that took place where, because of anger, homes have broken up. Just recently, an eighty year old man came to meet me at a certain place and told me that his son-in-law had divorced his daughter. She had eight sons and the ninth child was on the way. Imagine! If someone makes such a mistake in his young days, one will say that he has done it due to immaturity, but this has been done in old age! This person regularly goes out for Tabligh also. Here! Now he is suffering and getting attacks, because his little children have been separated from him. In the state of anger one does not realize one’s own unworthiness. He now regrets his foolish act of chasing his wife away forever, the result being that his children will always curse him and think of their father as a tyrant who divorced their mother in her old age. The entire family has now been separated, but what can be done now, for it is no use crying over spilt milk. Friends! Anger is very dangerous; therefore do not hesitate to remedy it. Now read on and see the petty matter over which this person divorced his wife: That day, their young son was ill and did not go to work. The father beat him, saying that he was telling a lie, whereas one is not justified to suspect or thinks ill of another without a valid proof. The mother then intervened, by telling the father to stop hitting the son. A mother naturally loves her children more than the father, because she is the one who carries them in her womb for nine months, then delivers them with so much pain, then breast-feeds them with her blood which is changed into milk. Thus, being a mother, she pitied her son and said to her husband: “Do not beat him so mercilessly (like a butcher).” Upon this interference from his wife, the husband flared up with anger and shouted: “Why must you interfere when I am fixing him up,” because of this I give you talaq! Talaq! Talaq! It was as if he had fired 3 bullets at his wife, all in one shot, as a result of which two homes were destroyed, and now they are suffering from heart attacks.

A great lesson is to be learnt from this unfortunate incident. One, who does not endeavor to reform himself, finally destroys himself as well as those connected to him. A person can never hope for betterment without the process of reformation.

Dr. Abdul Hay (RA) relates an incident about a certain young man, who once entered the masjid, crying bitterly while making dua. Doctor Sahib became much affected by the sight of the young man and took him to be a wali Allah (friend of Allah). At that very instant, an old man with poor eyesight and feeble, shaky legs, walked out of the masjid. Due to old age, his legs were weak and uncontrollable as a result of which he accidentally bumped into the young man. The young man, whose appearance resembled that of a great saint, suddenly jumped up and fumed: “O you unworthy blind fool, can you not see where you walk? You are so old, yet you hurt me!” His hands are spread out in supplication before Allah, while his tongue is engaged in harshly swearing the poor old man! Doctor Sahib, who had witnessed the entire scene, was shocked at the young man’s attitude. He said: “I thought him to be a great wali, but he turned out to be Satan’s grandfather.” Therefore, reformation of the ‘self’ is of utmost importance, for one’s success.

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